New moon, new you: the realistic magic of new moon intentions

(Includes recording of our moon ritual call.)

Hi friend,

Happy New Moon! Now is the perfect time to set an intention for the new lunar cycle (the next 4 weeks ahead of us).

➡️ If you want help with that, you will find the recording of our moon ritual call below.

Why is the new moon such a powerful time for setting intentions?

Humans have been keeping track of the lunar cycle for far longer than they have used the Gregorian calendar (or any calendar, for that matter). The moon phases have been guiding our ancestors before they ever acquired the ability to write or read.

And, as long as humans stay on this earth, they will be able to experience the lunar cycle. Calendars might change, but the moon is consistent and predictably in its changing nature.

(Of course, it just appears to us that the moon is changing form, which in itself is an important lesson that appearances can be deceiving.)

Moon phases and moon rituals

Those who came before us have often used different moon phases to plant and reap seeds, both literal and figuratively.

Dr Donna Blevins

succinctly summarizes this traditional approach:

“The maternal side of my family stressed the importance of the new moon — when to start — and the full moon — when to release.”

What is so beautiful about this approach is that it allows for action and rest. For bringing something in, and letting something go. For inhalation and exhalation.

Monthly planning with the calendar is nowhere near as holistic or complete. With traditional planning, you just inhale… and when things get challenging, you are told to inhale some more, as if that would make up for the lack of exhalation.

Rest assured that this lunar planning practice is different. There’s an inhalation… but there will also be an exhalation (stay tuned for my upcoming full moon ritual).

For now, let’s begin at the beginning, with this new moon. Here’s some more sage wisdom from Dr. Donna’s family:

“My Mama Peggy taught me that new moons were vital for planting seeds in a garden, beginning projects, and building relationships. Her wisdom was ions beyond her age.”

Personally, I’m not much of a gardener—-but I love the idea of planting seeds of intentions.

Why I focus more on intentions, and less on goals

In general, goals make me more likely to engage in toxic productivity, while intentions guide me towards soulful productivity (I’ve written about the difference between those in my previous article.)

Since we live in a very goal-driven culture, you probably have experience with setting goals. You might even have heard about that famous 1953 Yale study that allegedly shows that people who write down their goals earn a higher income. (Except that this study is a myth. It never happened.)

In general, a goal describes a certain result or achievement, such as “I want to finish my book.” Goals are usually externally focused, which probably explains why our culture has been so enamored with them.

Unlike a goal, an intention is more about an objective or purpose, such as “I want to dedicate myself to my writing.” In that sense, intentions are often about how we show up for something.

The problem with goals

Recently, there has been more awareness of how goals can have negative effects. For instance, a Harvard Business School working paper with the wonderful name “Goals Gone Wild” describes how

• goals can focus attention too narrowly,

• being focused on a performance goal can inhibit learning,

• goals tend to create a culture of competition,

• immediate performance goals can incentivize myopic behavior, and

• goals can harm intrinsic motivation by increasing extrinsic motivation.

I set annual goals for many years, and eventually grew tired of the traditional goal-setting process. These days, I much prefer monthly intentions over annual goals. Here’s why:

Intentions can be more realistic

Goals are binary… you either meet them, or you don’t. Just like in soccer, you either score, or you don’t.

Intentions are non-binary. They aren’t black or white, they are various shades of gray. This also means they are much closer to reality, which is much more complex and messy than we often acknowledge.

Intentions give guidance and flexibility

Unlike a goal, you can meet an intention to a greater or lesser intent. For instance, my intention for the upcoming moon cycle is to “steer my boat calmly and efficiently in the direction I want.” (We’re talking about a metaphorical boat here, by the way.)

Depending on how I show up in the next few weeks, I might totally nail that intention, or just make modest progress in its direction. Either way, I am improving things, and either way, I can feel good about my efforts (which often isn’t the case if we don’t accomplish a goal).

Intentions are open for interpretation, and adjustments, which is important in uncertain times. If the external situation shifts, intentions are often more useful than goals:

• At the start of 2020, I set a lot of goals, many of which related to meeting people in person and traveling. You can probably guess how many of those goals I accomplished…

• In contrast, let’s imagine in January 2020 I would have decided that I intend to experience greater freedom. In that case, I could have just re-interpreted that intention as being about inner freedom, for instance by giving myself permission to really be myself.

Similarly, if my internal preferences shift, I can still stick with that intention:

• Sometimes, at the start of a year, I set some goals that I later decided I don’t care about anymore. Technically, I didn’t achieve that goal.

• With an intention, you can generally re-interpret it. Should I suddenly realize that I want something entirely different in my life, I can still stick with my intention for the moon cycle.

Are you ready to set your own intention?

If you want my help, listen to the recording of our call, where I coach you through the process. Need a transcript? You can find it on my website here.

Great job on setting your intention. If you like, you can share it with us below.

While I love lunar planning, I also think it’s important to acknowledge the limits of New Moon intentions.

Here’s an article that I wrote a few years ago that describes the difference between something that is magic, and something that’s a magic pill (hint: the latter doesn’t exist):

This is magic but it’s not a magic pill

I'm a coach.

Which means I’m a bit of a modern-day wizard. If people let me, I can help them change their lives in sometimes miraculous ways.

There’s just one inconvenient truth: while coaching (or setting lunar intentions) is magic, it’s not a magic pill. The same thing is true for anything else we do to improve our lives:

• buying courses,

• hiring an expert to help us,

• spending money on books,

• enrolling in a program, etc.

If you are like me, you might have sometimes bought into something, thinking it was a magic pill, only to be disappointed later.

What is the difference between magic and a magic pill?

I have had the privilege to interact with some of the most talented magicians of our time. I don’t mean stage magicians—although I know a few very talented stage magicians as well. By “magician”, I mean people who use supernatural means to affect changes—magic(k).

The way they approach magic(k) is illuminating and can teach us something about life in general.

To them, magic(k) isn’t something you do to get what you want. It’s something you do to improve the odds of getting what you want.

According to this perspective, magic(k) is not a switch you flick on to instantly get what you want. It’s not a fail-safe tool that always works. Nor is it a fairy godmother or a genie in a bottle that will grant you any wish, no matter how improbable.

To these über-competent magicians, magic(k) is a probability enhancer. If their chances of getting something is 30%, doing a ritual might increase it to 55%. That’s why they don’t just do a ritual for finding their soul mate or the perfect job and then sit on their butt.

They do a powerful ritual AND then they do whatever they can in the “ordinary” world to increase their odds. Creating a dating profile. Sending in a job application. Whatever it is.

That sounds like a lot more work than “The Secret”, doesn’t it? Well, as personal trainer Nicky Holender puts it: “The secret to getting in shape is that there’s no secret.”

Make your own magic

I see coaching (or setting lunar intentions, or buying courses) the same way that these world-class magicians see magic(k). They improve your odds. As does putting in the work and taking action. 

In coaching, as almost everywhere in life, your results will be proportional to your commitment. That’s because coaching is magic but it’s not a magic pill. As poet Shel Silverstein put it: “But all the magic I have known I’ve had to make myself.”

New moon intentions, courses, and coaches might be able to give you a leg up. But you still have to climb the mountain yourself.

Let's go and make some magic happen!

Warmly,
Louise

P.S.: Here’s how I can help you with making some magic happen: