This article raises fascinating questions about the nature of desire. Is it truly an expansive force, as you suggest, or can it also be a source of dissatisfaction and endless striving? I'm reminded of the Buddhist concept of 'dukkha,' the inherent unsatisfactoriness of worldly desires. How do we reconcile the pursuit of our desires with the ultimate goal of inner peace and contentment?
Oh, that's a great point, Alex! Thanks so much for bringing that up! And, boy, does your comment raise some big questions. :) We could probably write entire books on them.
I also realize that I should have expanded more on what I meant by expansive and constrictive, and that I see both as necessary and valuable. Or, maybe I should have picked a more neutral word for "constrictive" (although currently none comes to mind).
I'll spend some time thinking about everything you brought up, and how it might all fit together. I wonder if it has something to do with two seemingly contradictory forces or polarities:
- unconditional love/joy (everything is already perfect as it is, which brings inner peace and contentment) and
- conditional love/joy (everything could be made better, which brings us the satisfaction of pursuing and achieving our desires).
And the key is to hold both of these simultaneously, or moving back and forth between them seamlessly. Like, if things aren't going well in everyday life, tapping into unconditional love/peace/contentment is great. And if it's hard to access unconditional joy, sometimes being satisfied over a personal achievement can lift us up.
I really like Buddhism and sort of accidentally became a Buddhist (long story)... so, without meaning disrespect to any of that, I'm not sure "dukkha" completely resonates for me at this point in my life.
I think worldly desires are only inherently unsatisfactory if they are exclusively materialistic (money, cars, electronic gadgets, etc.) or motivated by the wrong reasons (for instance, finding a partner because we can't stand being alone). But desires that we want for the right reasons, such as love, friendship, meaning, purpose, living one's calling? I think they make life so much richer and deeper.
It's like there's a subtle assumption in the idea of "dukkha" that spirit is more worthy or true than matter, which I don't quite agree with. I think there are things we can experience only when embodied, and I'm not willing to waste the unique opportunity I have as an incarnated being. :)
And, if we have an eternal soul, then I'll get to be an eternal soul for eternity, and experience peace and contentment indefinitely. But I only get to be a human for brief periods of time, so it seems important to make the most out of it: Listening to music. Getting a massage. Enjoying a nice meal. Cuddling with a loved one. Feeling the wind on my face. Basking in the sunshine.
So I guess my belief is that I will have perfect peace and contentment when this life is over... and that there are so many beautiful things to be found and explored while I'm embodied, and that my desires can, to some extent, be a pathway there.
I also think that this inherent tension (unconditional/conditional joy) we experience as humans might be inevitable and part of the process. That there's no perfect solution while we are embodied, and that living in that paradox is part of our growth here.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk! :)
(Sorry for the novel, I guess I got started on the book we could be writing about the whole subject. Thanks so much for the great question, Alex, and giving me the chance to share some of my thoughts about this.)
Wow, what a thoughtful response! You dove deep into those big questions my comment nudged loose, and I'm here for it. I love how you see both unconditional and conditional joy as valuable – it's like a dance between accepting what is and striving for what could be. That totally makes sense.
Your honesty about your own relationship with Buddhism is refreshing. And hey, who hasn't accidentally become something at some point in their lives, right? 😉 Your point about embracing the beauty of embodied experiences hits home. It's like we get this one wild ride as humans, and why not crank up the music, savor the good food, and feel the wind in our hair?
You've given me a lot to chew on here, and I appreciate your willingness to share your own journey so openly. It's inspiring to see someone navigating the tension between these different kinds of joy with such grace and humor. Thanks for the reminder that it's okay to embrace the messiness of being human, and that even in the paradox, there's growth and beauty to be found.
I loved your TED talk 😉
We should total write THE book on the subject. Haha!
Totally random idea but if we ever wanted to write a book on the subject, we could do something similar to what Tom and his dad were doing... starting a publication where we trade letters every other week. And then just put that into a book format. Maybe invite guests to contribute, like my former spiritual teacher.
This article raises fascinating questions about the nature of desire. Is it truly an expansive force, as you suggest, or can it also be a source of dissatisfaction and endless striving? I'm reminded of the Buddhist concept of 'dukkha,' the inherent unsatisfactoriness of worldly desires. How do we reconcile the pursuit of our desires with the ultimate goal of inner peace and contentment?
Oh, that's a great point, Alex! Thanks so much for bringing that up! And, boy, does your comment raise some big questions. :) We could probably write entire books on them.
I also realize that I should have expanded more on what I meant by expansive and constrictive, and that I see both as necessary and valuable. Or, maybe I should have picked a more neutral word for "constrictive" (although currently none comes to mind).
I'll spend some time thinking about everything you brought up, and how it might all fit together. I wonder if it has something to do with two seemingly contradictory forces or polarities:
- unconditional love/joy (everything is already perfect as it is, which brings inner peace and contentment) and
- conditional love/joy (everything could be made better, which brings us the satisfaction of pursuing and achieving our desires).
And the key is to hold both of these simultaneously, or moving back and forth between them seamlessly. Like, if things aren't going well in everyday life, tapping into unconditional love/peace/contentment is great. And if it's hard to access unconditional joy, sometimes being satisfied over a personal achievement can lift us up.
I really like Buddhism and sort of accidentally became a Buddhist (long story)... so, without meaning disrespect to any of that, I'm not sure "dukkha" completely resonates for me at this point in my life.
I think worldly desires are only inherently unsatisfactory if they are exclusively materialistic (money, cars, electronic gadgets, etc.) or motivated by the wrong reasons (for instance, finding a partner because we can't stand being alone). But desires that we want for the right reasons, such as love, friendship, meaning, purpose, living one's calling? I think they make life so much richer and deeper.
It's like there's a subtle assumption in the idea of "dukkha" that spirit is more worthy or true than matter, which I don't quite agree with. I think there are things we can experience only when embodied, and I'm not willing to waste the unique opportunity I have as an incarnated being. :)
And, if we have an eternal soul, then I'll get to be an eternal soul for eternity, and experience peace and contentment indefinitely. But I only get to be a human for brief periods of time, so it seems important to make the most out of it: Listening to music. Getting a massage. Enjoying a nice meal. Cuddling with a loved one. Feeling the wind on my face. Basking in the sunshine.
So I guess my belief is that I will have perfect peace and contentment when this life is over... and that there are so many beautiful things to be found and explored while I'm embodied, and that my desires can, to some extent, be a pathway there.
I also think that this inherent tension (unconditional/conditional joy) we experience as humans might be inevitable and part of the process. That there's no perfect solution while we are embodied, and that living in that paradox is part of our growth here.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk! :)
(Sorry for the novel, I guess I got started on the book we could be writing about the whole subject. Thanks so much for the great question, Alex, and giving me the chance to share some of my thoughts about this.)
Wow, what a thoughtful response! You dove deep into those big questions my comment nudged loose, and I'm here for it. I love how you see both unconditional and conditional joy as valuable – it's like a dance between accepting what is and striving for what could be. That totally makes sense.
Your honesty about your own relationship with Buddhism is refreshing. And hey, who hasn't accidentally become something at some point in their lives, right? 😉 Your point about embracing the beauty of embodied experiences hits home. It's like we get this one wild ride as humans, and why not crank up the music, savor the good food, and feel the wind in our hair?
You've given me a lot to chew on here, and I appreciate your willingness to share your own journey so openly. It's inspiring to see someone navigating the tension between these different kinds of joy with such grace and humor. Thanks for the reminder that it's okay to embrace the messiness of being human, and that even in the paradox, there's growth and beauty to be found.
I loved your TED talk 😉
We should total write THE book on the subject. Haha!
Thank you so much, Alex! Really appreciate it.
Totally random idea but if we ever wanted to write a book on the subject, we could do something similar to what Tom and his dad were doing... starting a publication where we trade letters every other week. And then just put that into a book format. Maybe invite guests to contribute, like my former spiritual teacher.
That is actually an intriguing and fun idea. I think we should explore this!!!!
I enjoyed the story.
Thank you so much, Strawbridge!