2025: inner stillness + forward movement

"I found my internal refuge once I stopped searching for solutions on the outside."

Hi friend,

2025 has been weird so far… normally, a bunch of people wish me a Happy New Year. This year, I haven’t heard the phrase once. And when I tried to wish two people a Happy New Year (on separated occasions), both started to look rather constipated.

Their reaction is understandable, The positive “new year, new you” energy just isn’t there this time. I guess we are all feeling a bit apprehensive about, well, everything?

If that’s you, I totally understand! The collective situation is rather depressing, which also makes it harder to deal with any personal challenges we might face.

While I would normally share an article about goal setting at the start of the year, today I will do things differently. Before we can move forward, we have to…

Find the stillness within

A while ago, I struggled with my writing. While going through an article for the dozenth time, I realized that I was trying to find a solution on the outside.

I assumed the problem was outside of me, that there was something wrong with the article. In reality, the struggle was within me… between the part of me that felt good about publishing controversial articles and the part that didn’t want to rock the boat.

But instead of looking within, I was looking at minutia.

In my observation, us humans tend to do this.

💡 We try to treat the symptom, not the cause. We’re looking to change the external because we think that’s easier to do. 💡

Albert Einstein famously said that:

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

When I tried to solve my dilemma by doing grammar edits, I was attempting to solve a problem from the same level of consciousness that created it. A level of consciousness that believes the external and internal are fully separate and that salvation can be found in the external if I just try hard enough.

But we can never solve a problem on the outside that originates on the inside. I realized that I had to stopped doctoring with my article. It was time to turn inside.

Our inner oasis

So that’s what I did while sitting in a coffee shop with a blabbering human on the phone nearby. At first, I got irritated about having to listen to his inane conversation. Then I realized that the external world was mirroring my internal experience… where a part of me just wouldn’t shut up about things that didn’t really matter.

The moment I had that realization, the guy ended his phone call. Blessed silence followed. My (relative) stillness within was now matched by (relative) stillness outside.

🏝️ We all have an oasis inside, a fountain of strength. A place of peace and tranquility that’s accessible to us at all times. We can find refuge there. 🏝️

One of my all-time favorite quotes by French existentialist Albert Camus speaks to this:

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.”

Sitting in the middle of a noisy coffee shop, I found that inner spring, that inner summer.

I’d wager that few things are more important than having a connection with that oasis within. Feeling connected to a deeper sense of peace builds trust in life. It empowers us to take risks. To live life vicariously and full of hope.

As Jared Brock put it:

“Inner stillness is the key to outer strength.”

The evidence that this works

While all of it sounds nice, where is the evidence that inner stillness is so powerful?

I could point out that mindfulness training has long been used to help people with chronic pain. Or mention research on the benefits of preparing for childbirth with mindfulness training. Or share that fMRI scans have revealed lower levels of felt pain and pain intensity in meditators.

One thing this teaches us is that humans have more resources inside themselves than they can imagine. Unlocking those resources can help soften the blows of life.

But even though the studies I mentioned focus on mindfulness or meditation, we shouldn’t confuse these practices with the experience of inner stillness itself.

💡 Inner stillness is the location. Meditation is the vehicle… but it isn’t the only vehicle to get you to where you want to go.

All you have to do is stop and listen. Your inner oasis is within you at all times. It cannot be lost, only buried underneath chatter. 💡

I found my internal refuge once I stopped searching for solutions on the outside —only to find that retreating to my inner oasis helped solve my writing-related challenges. The same might be true for your problems. In the words of German author Herman Hesse:

“Within yourself is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”

All you have to do is… stop… and listen.

Can you feel your inner stillness?

If you like, stay there. And, if you feel ready to move forward, let’s explore…

BE DO HAVE Goalsetting

In general, goals can be useful. They can help provide direction and motivation. However, not all goals are created equally.

Let’s explore the different types of goals you can have for the year ahead:

• Be goals,

• Do Goals, and

• Have goals.

Speaking of goals, have you ever noticed how hard it can be to enact the goals you want? That’s because it’s not enough to have goals, you generally also need a system, a strategy, and support for achieving them. Categorizing your goals can be the first step to getting there.

So, let’s get started!

Step 1: Brainstorm & categorize your desires into BE DO HAVE goals.

If you’re like most people, you probably have a list of things you want to have, do, or be in the year ahead.

Can you name at least three things in every category?

For instance, here’s what I came up with when I first did this exercise in preparation for 2019 (remember 2019? It was that ancient time in the past, about a century ago or so...):

• Have goals: boxing gloves and pads, Tom Kuegler’s Medium course, a larger following on Medium

• Do goals: visit Malaysia and Cambodia in 2019, see my friend Julius again, continue attending martial arts classes

• Be goals: grateful, impactful, happy

📝 Write down your goals. 

Have goals:

Do goals:

Be goals:

Step 2: Explore how your goals in these categories differ from each other

For instance, here are my insights:

• With the exception of a larger following on Medium, the first category (“Have goals”) consists of items I can buy. Things in this category are very concrete and generally entail a one-time purchase or action.

• The second category consists of activities and is more time-intensive. The activities are either one-off (a vacation) or continuous (such as regular exercise).

• The third category is the most elusive. The desires in this category are emotional states that can be hard to measure. This category could also be used to describe roles, for instance: “I want to be a teacher. I want to be a mother. I want to be a husband.”

📝 Is it the same for you? What other observations do you have?

Category one, Have goals:

Category two, Do goals:

Category three, Be goals:

Step 3: Explore if you want to rephrase a desire

Sometimes, it can be helpful to move a desire (particularly a “have” desire) into a different category.

The “have” category sometimes contains things that could be better expressed as a “be” desire, such as “I want to have a partner.” Can you see how “I want to be in a loving relationship” is a more meaningful goal?

📝 Are there any desires that you would like to rephrase? 

For instance, in my case, I decided to change the desire to “have a large following on Medium” into “be a successful writer on Medium.”

Step 4: Mark the BE DO HAVE goals that are currently the most important to you

Congratulations! You have a list of desires, neatly organized into BE DO HAVE goals. Now, let’s prioritize them.

📝 Which of these goals are the most important to you? 

Takeaway

It helps to categorize your desires because different desires require different strategies and yield higher or lower rewards. And my wish for you is that you find the most rewarding goals for yourself.

Have goals 💰

Pursuing Have goals often only requires having enough money (and a bit of time) to get them.

While it’s fine to include a few “have” desires on your list for the year ahead, these types of desires are typically not meaningful enough to turn them your main goal for a year. Achieving them likely won’t make you that happy.

Do goals 🕒

Pursuing Do goals requires time and activity.

While these are often more meaningful than “have” desires, it’s best to not exclusively pick “do” goals for the year ahead. As the saying goes, we’re human beings, not human doings.

Be goals 😮

Pursuing Be goals requires much, much more. And accomplishing them often yields the highest reward. That is because they require us to change who we are.

For instance, you can’t have a child without becoming a parent, and becoming a parent will change the core of who you are. Similarly, I wasn’t able to have a larger following on Medium without becoming more impactful (which was one of my “be” desires for 2019).

And changing (or expanding) the core of your being in the direction of your own choosing is deeply meaningful.

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What does that feel like? Do you get excited about the “book” that you are endeavoring to write in the new year?

By getting clarity on the right goals for you, you already create the chapter titles for this book. I hope that this helps you find an initial structure that supports you in 2025 (and beyond)!

Warmly,
Louise

P.S.: Want more support to achieve your BE DO HAVE goals?

➡️ If so, I invite you to check out my 1-on-1 coaching. You can find a description on my website here. If what I’m sharing resonates, we can connect to see if it’s a good fit.

I’d love to create the space for you that can help you reach your goals. 🤗

Playlist:

The Beatles — Let It Be