Welcome! This publication is about helping you grow in joyful ways, and doing the work you feel called to do.
Hi friend,
I had a dream.
You see, I have been wondering about the next steps for my business. A few years ago, it had reached a place I was somewhat content with.
And then, the fire nation attacked. š„
The pandemic changed the world, and parenthood changed me. To the core.
To preserve my energy, I stopped marketing my business. Surprisingly, this worked well enough for about 2 years. š Thanks to my existing clients, I maintained my income while working a lot less. Eventually, most of them finished up ā an indication it was time to focus on my business one again.
But along the way, I had realized something profound: I have enough. *
And, because I have enough, I donāt necessarily need my business to make money.
But, the whole point of a business is to make money, right?
Or maybe thatās not true.
š¤ Maybe the point of a business is to create value: for the people you serve AND for yourself.
I guess you can see why I have been confusedāeven after mentally reviewing all the business trainings I have taken over the years.
So, I abandoned my left-brain attempts of solving the issueā¦ and reached out to my shaman.
BE Goal: Realizing I want to be a working monk
Talking to my shaman helped me realized that what I really want is to be ā a working monk.
With a husband. And a child. And a house. And an EV. Andā¦ a business.
It felt so good when I came up with the term āworking monk,ā to describe what I really wanted. I like how itās a play on āworking momā. What I like even more is that it brings two things together:
the world of spiritual fulfillment, which is accompanied by peace and a sense of true wellness, and
the world itself, with its exciting demands and opportunities, and challenges, and potentials.
I always felt like I had to choose between one or the other. I could be the proverbial monk in a cave, and have my peace and spiritual fulfillment. Or I could be participating in the world, and get satisfaction from creating and building and pursuingāand hopefully help people along the way.
But what if I could have both? What if I could be a working monk?
What if I didnāt have to choose?
When I talked to my friends from my business mastermind group about this realization, one personās face lit up. š¤©
She said: āI always wanted to be a monk.ā The term āworking monkā really resonated with her and clarified things for her (you know how sometimes, finding the right words makes all the difference?).
Hah!
Turns out, Iām not alone.
The realization of what I wanted to be was important, but it didnāt answer what I wanted to do. **
š¤ How does a working monk do business?
DO goal: Realizing that I want friendship as my business foundation
So, I asked for a dream to help me get clear on the next steps. (Yep, I was really done with left-brain attempts to solve my conundrum!)
That night, I had a dream.
I wonāt bore you with the details, but the gist of the dream was this: friendship. I was standing in the rain and looking at a map.
In that map, I noticed a pattern of friendship. I showed it to my childhood friend. It took her a moment to see it (I felt pretty silly while trying to point it out), but eventually, she could see it, too.
This got me thinking:
š¤ Could friendship somehow be a business foundation?
An hour or so after awakening from that dream, I met with my mastermind group, where I shared how I felt stuck in my business.
One person suggested I could start offering regular paid meetings. She told me: āIf you do your working monk meetings, let me know. Iām interested!ā Another friend agreed.
This was great to hear. I hadnāt even talked about the whole working monk thing publicly, and I already had 1-2 people who were interested? And all because I had spoken to my friends? Yay!
This made me think about how great it would be to see everyone I interact with in my business as a friend. š¤
The qualities of friendship
After all, good friendships are win-wins. In a friendship, we want our friend to do well, and they want us to do well.
The idea of friendship also has appropriate boundaries built into it. In general, people are willing to put up with more from family members than from friends. Which means that weāre generally on better behavior with friends, and that our friends are on better behavior with us.
Also, friendships indicate a like-mindedness. Unlike family that we donāt get to choose, we typically become friends with people who are like us in some waysātraits, values, interests, etc.
And, itās okay to ask your friends from help.
So, by making friendship the foundation of my business, I integrate the following ideas into it:
mutual flourishing/win-wins,
good boundaries,
like-mindedness, and
the ability to ask for help.
I have no idea if itās possible to have friendship as a business foundation, but Iām willing to try.
So let me start by asking for help! :)
I could use your input:
If you are potentially interested in āworking monkā meetings, Iād love to hear from you:
What would you want from them?
What problem would you like support with?
How often would you want to meet?
You can leave a comment, hit reply to this email, or message me.
Warmly,
Louise
Notes
* On having enough:
When it comes to our sense of enoughness, I believe there are 3 groups of people:
those who donāt have enough and know it,
those who do have enough but donāt know it, and
those who have enough and know it.
Group 1 is, unfortunately, pretty big. People in this group perceive reality accurately, and have goals that make sense: they donāt have enough, so they want more. When you find yourself in this group, wanting more is a very appropriate goal!
Group 2 is a lot bigger than we might think. Because of cultural conditioning, these people donāt realize how much they already have. So, they want more and more and more, which keeps them in a perpetual state of ānot-enoughnessā.
Group 3 is the smallest group, at least in the West. Unlike group 2, they perceive reality accurately: they know they have enough. These people are often interested in spirituality, frugal living, Minimalism, and/or the FIRE movement.
The bottom line is this: almost everything you see, read, or hear is from someone in group 1 or 2. Their motto is: āMore is better.ā (Which is only true if you are in group 1. A better motto for group 2 might be: āA sense of enoughness is better.ā)
When I realized I had enough, I moved to group 3 ā which also means that a lot of the assumption made by people in group 1 and 2 donāt work for me anymore. For me, more isnāt better. Itās only better if itās exactly the right āmoreā, and if it doesnāt take away from my āenoughnesss.ā
I think thatās why Iām needing to find my own way, as opposed to just following the business trainings I have training.
Business trainings created by someone in group 3 are rare (maybe because if you are in that place, youād rather do something else with your time than create business trainings?).
** On different types of goals:
We can, broadly speaking, differentiate between the following 3 types of goals:
Be goals: who do you want to be?
Do goals: what do you want to do?
Have goal: what do you want to have?
If alignment is important to you, itās good to start from Be goals, move to Do goals, and only then consider Have goals. Something we could look into in our working monk school, if you like. :)
This sounds interesting to me. I would say that my primary motivation for something like this is more about "community" rather than friendship. I believe that what draws us to friendship *is* community, a sense of support and caring connection. So the question is, what would that look like? I'm definitely motivated more by "be" followed by "do." Have isn't really on my list. I don't need more; I need deeper. So I'd like to hear more.
All of this resonates with me. Friendship is definitely the foundation of my business. And, working monk could totally describe me, but I prefer āWarrior Buddha.ā